© 1997-TEOTWAKI - Chuckles the Sane,  Sui Juris.  All rights reserved.

ParaphernaliaEngineering 101


 
Smoking weed is as simple or involved as you think it should be, or have the capacity to make it.

Head shops can be located in most American burghs, where a plethora of pulchritudinous pot paraphernalia may be perused and purchased, pronto.  Head shops are to the pot smoker what Pier One represents to the yuppie--an integral and enriching part of what defines the whole.  Within the sacred confines of the head shop, one may find a miasma of pipes, rolling papers, incense, water bongs, roach clips, books, magazines, rolling trays...and so on and so on ad infinitum.

Most items found in head shops can be replicated from everyday household objects.

Reduce, reuse and recycle, right?


 
 
 
The Pot Smoker's Secret Utility Kit
James Bond had gagets to assist in his coercive endeavors and miscellaneous campaigns of non-domestic subterfuge.  Wonder Woman had a magic hemp rope.  Elvis had the Colonel.  Pot Smokers get a neato Secret Utility Kit.

The most indispensible item in a pot smoker's Secret Utility Kit is his tin.  It is his tin which houses and protects a good portion of the other contents of his Secret Utility Kit.  It is on its upturned lid that buds are broken and doobies are rolled.  It may be a turn of the century snuff box or a Danish cookie tin, a decorative wooden box or ultra-mod burpable Tupperware.  However, dry weed has an undesirable static cling effect to styrofoam and some plastics, so they are best avoided.

The tin should be sturdy and have a lid with a smooth underside.    Other qualities are selected on a more personal level.  One could truly not want for a better rolling tray than the lid of a butter cookie tin.  Its shiny surface and die-pressed, cold-rolled lip are the greatest pot smoker's boon since the disposable lighter without those damned child-proof attachments.

Within the tin, you can keep your packets of rolling papers, pipe screens, pipes, hemostats, roach clips and a wazooload of other useful items, where you will be able to find them when the short-term memory loss kicks in.

Some suggestions are:


 
A paperclip
Partially unfolded, a paperclip is the world's greatest pipe tool.  For those who want the Craftsman version, fabricate a pipe tool out of a bit of cut and bent coathanger.  The wire handle recycled from a take-out box of Moo Goo Gai Pan works equally well.


A business card, playing card, sports card, bus pass, concert ticket or similar item

The card is the pot smoker's squeegee.  It is used to scoop and scrape weed in the tin lid.  It's like a owning your own little back-hoe and zamboni.  The flap from a packet of papers works great.


A disposable lighter or six

The disposable lighter, (manually operated, friction activated, flint initiated, butane sustained ignition apparatus,) a native of convenience store counter tops, is a pot smoker's side arm.  The flame should be of the adjustable variety.  Lighting a bong and firing up a joint each takes its own sort of flame.  A typical bong setting on a lighter should produce a one to two inch flame, due to the necessity of resisting exhaustion by vacuum.  A joint flame should be just large enough to do the job, without lighting yourself on fire.  Less  than an inch is great and reduces the possibility of a buzz-kill by way of a scorched proboscis.


Pipe screens

Pipe screens, obtainable at any head shop are indispensible to the toker of weed.  If you have the inclination and a pair of scissors, you may use any metal screen which does not contain lead or aluminum.


Hemistats

Roach clip, incense holder, all purpose grabbie-thing.


Rolling Papers

A Scissor

Proceed To:
Advanced Engineering
Build a bong! Construct your own pot pipe!  Carve and toke a carrot!