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© 1997-TEOTWAKI - Chuckles the Sane, Sui Juris. All rights reserved.

Pot Price Guide

In marijuana, much like all other facets of our living universe, the laws of supply and demand reign supreme. Ass, gas or grass, nobody rides for free; TANSTAAFL (There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch;) or money talks and bullshit walks.  The principle is the same across the board, and there is nothing you can do about it.

So, if free weed is what you're after, then a few righteous seeds, a modicum of common sense and huevos grandes are about all you need to start your own self-sufficient magic miracle garden. But, if you are the sort of person who is frequently paralyzed by paranoia; can't help but to tell their darkest secrets to the strangest of strangers, and can't even grow mold on week-old TV dinners, bargain shopping is in order.  A frugal toker is a smart toker.

Prices vary according to numerous geographic and socioeconomic factors, including illegality, social acceptance, and whether or not you know the guy slinging the dope. Although Federal Reserve notes have no real intrinsic worth, they have a widely perceived and accepted value that most people can relate to something useful and tangible. For all practical purposes, paper money is debt-based and not "worth" itself. (For further information, research the Federal Reserve Note on the Web.)  Barter if you can, and try to avoid supporting oppressive, fascist regimes by avoiding using their paper currency. But for convenient reference, with the usual disclaimers attached, the weights, measures and prices are (more or less) as follows:

Department of Weights and Measures:

A dime bag, which can be acquired for a mere ten bucks, looks like a small, shrink-wrapped strawberry made of hemp-flowers and should weigh in at about two to two and a half grams. Many people won't sell dime bags anymore--it's just not worth the hassle. If you are able to locate someone who will sell you a dime, more often than not it will be a not-so-generous helping of shake, seeds and stems. This isn't always the case--I've seen some really decent bags of herb come in small packages, but often you really have to know the guy. Wink wink, nod nod.

An eighth (eighth-of-one-ounce, or about 3.5 grams) is generally regarded as a reasonable trade for a linen-woven photo of Andrew Jackson. Sometimes Jackson and Abe, but usually not much more--unless it is from somebody important's personal stash. A few righteous buds, a sprinkle or two of shake, and some seeds thrown in for weight will be the norm. Make sure to sniff the bag like a true connoisseur and make a positive comment about the aromatic quality of it at purchase time. If you really want to show your appreciation for somebody cutting you an eighth, get into the aesthetics of it and tell your friendly dealer that it looks great. It always makes your friend happy to know he gave you a decent little baggie of weed. If you have any civility about you, you'll have a seat and smoke out with the person who sells it to you. If he has any civility at all, it will be his weed.  An eighth is a good weekend stash for a casual smoker and his or her date.  An eighth can also be a really big joint.  It is all a matter of perspective and personal preference.  We advise frugality over excess when it comes to matters of pot economics.

A quarter ounce of weed usually sells for about forty bucks, depending on location and quality. It is usually the last great stepping stone on the way to insane government-mandated "felony possession." The rules vary from regime to regime, but usually they're drawing the line at about a quarter-lid.  Upon being caught crossing "the line," you usually spend at least a few days in a ginger-colored jumpsuit, trying to maintain your sexual integrity in a cell full of bored and angry deviants.  A quarter-sack will usually secure a better deal than an eighth, and is the average quantity for a casual toker's everyday stash.

A half ounce of bud will often cost between sixty and one hundred dead Washingtons.  It should weigh in at about fourteen grams or so and not look like something that was scraped out from under the lawnmower after a summer's hard work.  A half-lid is the casual pothead's extra-value meal.  Stock up and save is the rule in black market commodities, and weed is no exception.  If you are a frequent toker, buying less than a half ounce is cautious, but not particularly cost-effective.

 

An Ounce, a lid, or an O. Z. is the basic Imperial chunk sliced off a pound.  If you are in a touring band, or are a die-hard pothead, this is the bag you usually carry home.  If you are carrying home more than an ounce, odds are you are unloading part of it on your friends at a reasonable profit, or so low-profile and secluded that you can sit in your underwear and slam down bong hits in the living room without being concerned that a team of ninja commandos will at any minute kick in your door and cavity search you. (But I digress.)  An ounce of weed can cost anywhere from sixty to two-hundred dollars or more, depending on all the usual factors that regulate weed-commerce.  It could easily cost more or less, but we are here as a general source of information and not the omniscient guru of weed prices.  Again, it is a matter of supply and demand, and value vs. worth.

The price you are willing to pay is the "worth."  The price the dealer gives you is his idea of "value."  There is often a largish gap between the two.  As a rule, dealers don't haggle, because you need them way more than they need you.  Either pay up and accept the "value" or find a new hook-up.  It all depends on what it is "worth" to you.

A pound can run between about twenty bucks in Colombia, South America, to over two-thousand dollars in the United Socialist States of America.  It should be sixteen-ounces of pot (depending on the integrity of The Man,) and should be about the size of a decent cantaloupe or larger.  You should be able to stay stoned pretty much of the time for weeks on end with that much dope.