Stoned Things For Fun PeopleNotice: We deny all responsibility for injury, death, dismemberment, ridicule or any other effect onset by actually attempting any of the asinine actions suggested herein. We encourage you to refrain from trying any of the projects or suggestions. We further encourage you to keep it quite to yourself if something does go wrong while attempting any of the suggestions we've so strenuously urged you to avoid.
The Sodium-B-Line Emission Kosher Lamp
If you are naturally inclined toward
expertise with electricity and routinely throw caution to the wind in exchange
for cheap thrills and peer acceptance, try this nifty little science experiment.
Hammer two nails into the board in the same manner that volleyball poles are erected, parallel to one another and perpendicular to the board, about four inches apart.
Find an old extension cord, lamp or anything else from which you may acquire a power cord. Cut the cord, leaving a long bit of cord and the plug at the end. Strip the insulation about four inches from the other, non-plug, end of the cord. Wrap the positive wire on one nail and the negative on the other. If you do not know which is which, you really shouldn't be mucking about with electricity.
Call your friends and invite them over for the unveiling of your machine. Throw a cloth over it for the unveiling. When they arrive, make it your responsibility to ensure that everyone is sufficiently stoned.
Go get the Kosher Dills out of the refrigerator. Try not to eat them on the way back to the machine.
Perform whatever acts of frivolous fanfare and shameless bids for undivided attention that you feel are strictly necessary for the occasion and yank the cover off your contraption.
Impale a pickled cucumber upon the two nails, forming a sort of cross-bar. Plug the contraption into a switched-off surge protector and turn off the lights. Use a flashlight to find your way back if you become disoriented. Flip the switch on the surge protector and experience the thrill of a
When you've stopped giggling or
the fuses in the house are all popping, unplug the machine.